I Wanted To End My Life But Jesus Stopped Me

 

The CE4 Research Group

Testimony – 64

 

The Testimony of Lora
 

I am hoping that the following testimony will inform and encourage those who have had, or are having, any such related experiences. No one ever need remain a victim of deception, for there is a remedy, a medicine, to all that preys upon our vulnerable souls whether awake or asleep. It is in Him and through Him we obtain our victory and declare our freedom; every knee will bow to the name of Jesus.

Beginning at about the age of four, I can remember having a number of partially awake, partially asleep experiences that were frightening and beyond my control. The sense of being deep inside of what seemed a dark well, and a presence that was pulling on me, was frightening. There were other more conventional dreams that were recurring nightmares, and they continued into my teen years.

At seven years of age, I saw an apparition during the daylight hours that was not explainable, and felt it best not to share the experience with my parents. I was fascinated from that point on with the idea there was another unseen realm that was as real as the one I lived in day to day.

Although I believed in God as I was growing up, I never knew how to relate to Him. During my teen years I read extensively on all the world religions, as well as theosophy, Rosicrucianism, and Christian Science. When I finished high school, I attended yoga classes that focused on the opening of the “chakras”, ( wheel-like vortices; “force centers”…which, according to traditional Indian medicine, are in the surface of the etheric double of man) and began having numerous experiences in astral projection. Within that same year, I saw what appeared to be an “alien” type of apparition in my living room, suspended in the air. It was green, and had features like a gray, except it’s eyes were smaller and round. I was not afraid of what I saw, but I felt as though I should not be staring at it, so continued on to be out of it’s way. It was the opinion of friends of mine that believed in the presence of ufo’s, that it was actually a spirit presence of an alien. It was a few years later that I realized it was a demonic being from the fallen spirit realm.

Previous involvement with the new-age: From the end of 1970 to 1973, I attended a place in Long Beach, CA, which was known as a “mind science center.” It was a mixture of “Christianity,” new-age, Catholic mysticism, and the relevance of all other major world religions. The founder was a well known psychic in the Hollywood community, and conducted a Sunday morning “church” service complete with contemporary Christian music and scripture reading. However, there was never any sort of true prayer done in the name of Jesus…only the”The Great Invocation” was recited, as is done by every sincere Luciferian. It was not until later that I discovered it came from Alice Bailey and the demonic being she channeled. It is the new-age mantra for their global plan of “power and oneness.” It was here I learned to fine tune my meditation and visualization techniques, which opened me up to many occult experiences involving demonic visitations.

UFO/”alien” experiences: In 1974, during the daytime, I had an intense vision of a ufo scene that brought me to sit on the floor and just sob (I could not explain why this happened, as I sure was not thinking about such things at the time, I was training horses and very busy and active) I saw disc shaped ufo’s going into an underground sort of base, and I heard way below the surface the sound of machinery. I could not explain why it made me so sad, or why it was so upsetting. At the time I was not reading anything connected to ufo’s or the spirit realm. I have seen a ufo near Grants Pass, on the border of Gold Hill Oregon, (where the Oregon vortex is) during a two day ground breaking ceremony for the new Aletheia center in 1971. It was an enclave of new-agers, replete with channeling sessions through those who proclaimed to have “messages” for us on the “earth-plane”. During the night I slept out in an open field, away from my noisy friends and their camp fire. I saw an oval shaped blue light that was far above me, moving extremely fast and suddenly stopping, turning at right angles, then disappearing.

I was living in Hawaii in 1979, and lived in a large home on the side of hill in Manoa valley. There were only three other homes on our street, so it was a quiet and private place. The lady that owned the home went to see one of her sons on another island for a few days, so I was alone in the house, except for the two Dobermans that had the run of the place. I had just gotten into bed, and was lying on my back relaxing into a meditative state as was my habit, so I was not asleep. My bedroom door was shut, but as I lay there, I heard the latch on the door turn. (this was an old European style home with very tall ceilings and latches on many of the doors instead of door knobs) My very first thought was; if there was actually someone in the house, the dogs would have been going crazy and would have gone after them, so what was happening was not computing as far as my mind was concerned. I then immediately sensed a very powerful presence in my room, and could hear the electricity and could see light even though my eyes were shut. (this was not a new experience for me.) I was not really afraid, but could not move due to the sheer force of their presence. (I was also experiencing electricity coursing through my body) What I saw were two very tall beings, one standing on each side of my bed. One was taller than the other, so one was about 9 ft. and the other 8 ft. tall. There was a lot of electricity, so they did not appear in true corporeal form, but had an opaque quality. They had on a long tunic type apparel, belted, and there was blue, gold, and some red in it. They were speaking in a language I had never heard; it had a tonal quality to it, and was quick like running water (but more complex) or a musical instrument. At one point I did open my eyes, but what I saw was the same as when they were shut, so I shut them. I do not know how long they were there, but not a long time. When they left, they did not make a big exit, they simply were gone. I got up to walk through the house, and I could still see light, as a curtain that was opaque and waving, and it was a sort of pink and gold. I had never had this sort of visitation, but the curtain of light I have seen many times. For a few years after this experience, even my Christian friends regarded this visitation as God’s angels. I know now that the appearance and behavior of these two beings did not reflect the nature or character of God’s holy angels, but were indeed the fallen ones.

In 1984, I had left any involvement with the new-age behind, as I had become more serious in my relationship with God…however still with a foot in the world and not a firm foundation in Christ. I dreamt I was in a of neighborhood walking, when I heard a very high pitched sort of hum, and looked up to see, about 50 ft. above me, a silver craft that was oval shaped with small wings. Sitting in it was a single alien type being, and the craft appeared to be like a convertible, with no top. (it was not very large, no more the size of a large car.) He looked somewhat like a gray, the main difference being his eyes had a narrowed squint, as if he were focused and angry. He was firing some sort of electro magnetic beam at me, and I knew if it hit me it would kill me. The avarice and hateful intent I sensed from this being was beyond description…I was utterly terrified, and was running to find shelter. There were other people running also, as there were many of these crafts. I ran into a home and got under a table, but they could see me and were still firing. I remember trying to hide in various ways, but they were still able to find me and others. I called out to God asking what I could do, and I heard, “your Bible is in your Grandmother’s house.” (my Grandfather had passed away, and both of them were strong Christians.) I ran and found myself in her house, and took my Bible underneath a table and began to read. I was calling out to others to do the same, and told them they would perish if they didn’t. The craft went away…I woke up after that, and my heart was pounding terribly. I believe that God’s hand was on this dream…as it was a warning and a revelation to me personally.

In the middle 80’s, while going through a very difficult time with my husband one evening, I left the house in desperation to separate myself from the strife, and parked my car in a quiet neighborhood some distance from home. I had come so completely to the end of myself with what to do, I was overcome with grief. I cried out to God to please hear me…I wanted to end my life, if only I had the means to accomplish it at that moment. I then heard, quite distinctly, a voice that said, “you do not have to do that, I have already done that for you.” God’s grace came washing over me; and every molecule in my mind, every place in my heart, understood at that moment what had taken place on the Cross…and why I had to come there to have what I had failed to do, and what I had messed up so badly, laid on Him because the burden was crushing the life out of me. I had no idea that God loved me so much that He would willingly take that burden…(I was so convinced I had to strive and just try harder to be a better person)…the Great Substitution was in fact a tangible, powerful experience for me. The life of Jesus that was poured out on the Cross was no longer in the realm of concept and merely belief; I knew for a fact this life of mine had been bought and paid for. I drove home a completely different, and profoundly grateful, person.

Two weeks later, at home, I was sitting at my desk alone reading the book of Hebrews. I was very immature in the things of God, but regardless, it is He that examines the hearts of everyone. About halfway through, I sensed an intensity of the words upon the pages that had not been there before, and then I had to stand up because it was as if the ceiling in my room was descending…in fact I looked up at the ceiling because the weighty presence was so acute…I then realized it was the Spirit of the Lord, and I burst into tears because instantly I was aware of my willful, fleshly self, as if looking in a mirror. I was very ashamed…and wholly convicted of my willfulness (at that time I was separated from my husband, and it was turning into divorce) I was seeing where I had done things my way, and they did not turn out well…but then at a nano second later, I heard Him say (as from a voice that spoke to the inside of me) “but now you are going to do things My way.” I went to the floor as His grace just poured over me, and the love of the Father acknowledged that I truly belonged to Him; He showed me that this process of transformation and yielding was a part of sonship. After spending time in His presence, I went back to the desk to continue reading Hebrews…and as I read, it was as if an extra light bulb of sorts had been turned on, and the words were leaping off the page and implanting themselves within me. In other words, the Holy Spirit is what makes the Word on the pages alive in our spirit, heart, and mind. This outpouring of His spirit over me was now bringing the Word into succinct clarity…and the joy I was experiencing was not like anything I had ever experienced. I knew it was a joy that transcends any sort of “happiness” that I could find from whatever I would receive in my life from one day to the next. What could be greater…than the One who formed the entire universe and set all things in order…calling me His legitimate child and heir?

Ephesians 1:13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.

As all who have been transformed by the power of God’s Word and Spirit know, as long as we inhabit this corruptible body, we will be required to grow and overcome. We are all engaged in a spiritual war, and certainly over the years I have had my share of the fallen spirit realm seeking to find entrance into my mind, or invade my peace while asleep. But we have in Ephesians 6 instructions for our warfare, for we are to “be strong in the Lord and the power of His might.” There is no other name above the name of Jesus… Philippians 2:10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11. and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Lora

 

<< Back to The CE4 Research Testimonies Index

The CE4 Research Group has to date worked with over 400 so called cases of the Alien Abduction Experience. The CE4 Research Group has been the Investigative arm of AlienResistance.org, a clearing house website covering the Biblical view on the UFO phenomenon. Seeing that there seemed to be a spiritual nature to the Alien Abduction experience, they posed the question, “Are Christians being abducted by Aliens”? Read more on their research and findings at http://www.CE4Research.com

“The one thing we can offer people in this field, that nobody else anywhere is offering, is hope. Hope that they can stop this experience.”

- Joe Jordan, President CE4 Research Group, 1997 Florida Today article






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